I know sometimes as a parent it is overwhelming trying to be all things all the time. I used to go to bed and worry that I wasn't going to be good enough or that I was failing my kids. After stressing about it way too much I came up with a system that I use and thought I would share it today.
Alot of moms run themselves ragged trying to do everything....perfectly. But when you think back your own childhood most of us really don't remember everything our parents did. We remember the feelings we had, certain things that parents did on a consistant basis or special times that stood out from the normal day to day.
I decided to mentally make a list of the 5 most important things I could do that would have me laying in bed at night feeling like I was a successful mother. Just 5. And even tho I do in fact do more than 5 parenting things a day my list of 5 is my top 5 essential. It also changes sometimes but I find that over time most of my 5 still stay the same long term.
Here is my mental list of 5 things right now....
1. Help the kids stay on top of their grades. I check grades and assignments online often and we talk about what is due. I also make sure that I have enough school supplies on hand plus I also keep an open dialog with their counselors and teachers.
2. Plan and prepare a good dinner. My kids are all on the thin side (my beanpoles) and my daughter I swear has a hollow leg. I feel that they can't grow to their fullest potential if I don't feed their bodies well. This does not mean I am a gourmet cook, nor do I have them on a restricted diet. Just a healthy balanced nutritional meal. Plus we normally eat between 5 and 6.
3. Make an after school snack and dessert. Ok this is two that deal mainly with food lol but I have growing teens. Plus while they are eating their snack we are usually talking about what happened during their day. Then at the end of the evening they love a small dessert - its my feel good moment. The desserts by the way are usually only about 1/2 cup in size.
4. Be open and available for my kids to talk. It always makes me feel good knowing that if my kids had a problem they can come to me and talk about it. This doesn't happen unless your open to hearing all the daily mundane things that go on in their lives or your willing to discuss a new interest or idea they have. This does mean that lately I have had several conversations on how cute Justin Beiber is or how my son has plans for us to live in an underground bunker when he is grown (oh yeah all of us, including my parents lol) to save us from a zombie invasion and if the Emperor from Star Wars really did have a mother and if she did indeed make him brush his teeth with or without the dark side.
5. A clean, well kept environment. Confession, my house is not completely spotless. I do however think that kids learn by example. If my room is a dumping ground how can I expect theirs to be all neat and tidy? I also feel that we are all more relaxed in a clean home. I will admit however that I will put this one off if number 4 on the list takes too much time.
This list is different for everyone. It just helps me figure out what is really important for me and shoot for that instead of focusing on all the little failures we all have daily. It also helps me reduce my stress which was a huge goal for me considering I tend to internalize and worry over everything!
Alot of moms run themselves ragged trying to do everything....perfectly. But when you think back your own childhood most of us really don't remember everything our parents did. We remember the feelings we had, certain things that parents did on a consistant basis or special times that stood out from the normal day to day.
I decided to mentally make a list of the 5 most important things I could do that would have me laying in bed at night feeling like I was a successful mother. Just 5. And even tho I do in fact do more than 5 parenting things a day my list of 5 is my top 5 essential. It also changes sometimes but I find that over time most of my 5 still stay the same long term.
Here is my mental list of 5 things right now....
1. Help the kids stay on top of their grades. I check grades and assignments online often and we talk about what is due. I also make sure that I have enough school supplies on hand plus I also keep an open dialog with their counselors and teachers.
2. Plan and prepare a good dinner. My kids are all on the thin side (my beanpoles) and my daughter I swear has a hollow leg. I feel that they can't grow to their fullest potential if I don't feed their bodies well. This does not mean I am a gourmet cook, nor do I have them on a restricted diet. Just a healthy balanced nutritional meal. Plus we normally eat between 5 and 6.
3. Make an after school snack and dessert. Ok this is two that deal mainly with food lol but I have growing teens. Plus while they are eating their snack we are usually talking about what happened during their day. Then at the end of the evening they love a small dessert - its my feel good moment. The desserts by the way are usually only about 1/2 cup in size.
4. Be open and available for my kids to talk. It always makes me feel good knowing that if my kids had a problem they can come to me and talk about it. This doesn't happen unless your open to hearing all the daily mundane things that go on in their lives or your willing to discuss a new interest or idea they have. This does mean that lately I have had several conversations on how cute Justin Beiber is or how my son has plans for us to live in an underground bunker when he is grown (oh yeah all of us, including my parents lol) to save us from a zombie invasion and if the Emperor from Star Wars really did have a mother and if she did indeed make him brush his teeth with or without the dark side.
5. A clean, well kept environment. Confession, my house is not completely spotless. I do however think that kids learn by example. If my room is a dumping ground how can I expect theirs to be all neat and tidy? I also feel that we are all more relaxed in a clean home. I will admit however that I will put this one off if number 4 on the list takes too much time.
This list is different for everyone. It just helps me figure out what is really important for me and shoot for that instead of focusing on all the little failures we all have daily. It also helps me reduce my stress which was a huge goal for me considering I tend to internalize and worry over everything!
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| here is a photo of our dessert last night....... white cake with chocolate pudding trifle with Raspberry sauce. YUM! This was Mr. Sweetheart's so his was alittle larger. |
